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Happy Santa Hunting

Rare Exports Review

reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com
written for www.subtitledonline.com

Rare Exports, while technically a horror film, is your quintessential Christmas movie, a term that manages to conjure up images of bearded rotund men and a cherub chubby child out to discover an important life lesson – and it achieves all this. Just with an added bit of spice in the fact that Santa Claus is a horned devil man far more hell bent upon punishing the wicked children than ever bothering to shower gifts upon the good.

Making a merry stand against the coca cola created image of the Santa Claus we have these days, director Jalmari Helander makes a brave attempt in tearing down this accepted jolly creature and instead replaces him with a far more sinister character who’d have far more in common with the beasts found in the Grimm Brothers’ original fairytales.

As a man who quietly climbs atop our roofs and climbs down the chimney to enter our children’s bedroom solace, it would seem Santa Claus should have always been a character to fear and this is what happens to Pietari Kontio (Onni Tommila), the young Finnish boy-hero of Rare Exports who decides it is his duty to stop the evil ascension of Father Christmas.

Read the rest of the review at: http://www.subtitledonline.com/reviews/rare-exports-a-christmas-tale-2

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Awww...Young Love...

Like Crazy VS One Day

reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

Taking a change of pace from my usual horror movie fanfare, I took the opposite route last night and went down the dreaded romantic drama genre, and like a sucker for punishment, I made it a double bill. The two films of last nights candle lit date between me and my laptop being, Like Crazy and One Day.

And when viewing both back to back it drove home how pertinent it is for the film creators to craft a subtle realistic couple, and how sometimes it works and other times it utterly fails. The two films in question work as a nice double viewing; one is a perfect blend of movie magic where the script's dialogue, the director's swift control of the proceedings and the actor's ability and chemistry all come together...and the second, where none of it melds believably and instead results in an odd patchwork that leaves behind a hollow unemotional film.

I initially scoffed at the trailer for Like Crazy, making my usual assumption that it looked like a convoluted boring 'romantic' young love affair that would only cause a bout of depression. And although I'd like to stick to my negative prejudgements, I actually loved this film. With perfect casting with Felicity Jones and Anton Yelchin, the central couple who finds themselves torn between the worlds of London and LA and the inevitable issue of a green card, it makes for a touching and perfectly handled film.

The romance isn't forced and unlike the majority of romantic dramas or rom coms, the dialogue isn't shoe horned in and unrealistic, no out of the blue one liners to demonstrate how 'plucky' the central heroine is (I'm looking at you Meg Ryan.) It is something that One Day could have learned from.

While Like Crazy sometimes opts for moments of silence knowing the audience can work out what the characters are thinking due to the great direction and performances, One Day seems to feel the need to force romantic dialogue that sounds out of place. "I Love you Dexter, I just don't like you." (meh.)

One Day might have worked as a novel (by David Nicholls), as a film it is a bit of a sorry excuse, with terrible characterisation in parts, especially Dexter, played by Jim Sturgess, who is usually a great go to actor for the relatable central male lead. Instead, Dexter comes across as a complete pompous arse-twat, which in some parts of the narrative is needed, but the performance lacks the fundamental he may be a douche but deep down he is a nice guy approach. Instead you just think he is a total posho bastard. And it is here where the whole root of the film doesn't work, mainly due to Dexter being a total boob; the central friendship is wholly unbelievable and when it evolves into a relationship the characters suddenly have a personality transplant as if to make the relationship feel natural.

Neither film has a particularly upbeat finale, (thank god) and while One Day's tragedy is on a far bigger scale, the end of Like Crazy is far more devastating due to its subtly and poignant nature.

So if I could advise one droopy romantic film to watch this winter season, I wholeheartedly would scream Like Crazy while simultaneously spitting on One Day.

Like Crazy: 4/5

One Day: 2/5

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The Thing (2011)

The Thing (2011)

Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

Amid many outcrys of disgust and disgrace, the prequel/almost-remake/not-a-sequel to John Carpenter's The Thing, cleverly entitled just...The Thing...has finally squirmed onto the big screen, the big question being; is its existence completely pointless?

Surprisingly...no, and while disappointingly it doesn't take full advantage of such a venture, it still becomes a somewhat entertaining film that lazily attempts a spot of fan-service along the way.

The plot is relatively the same as the original and it hits each note that you'd expect, sometimes playing on our expectations but unfortunately not as often as one would hope. The climax manages to explore the mythology of The Thing more so than the original and while it is a nice attempt, bringing in a sudden surge of science fiction-y imagery seems to play against what made the original so entertaining and causes the finale to mutate into a rather cumbersome cgi heavy affair.

Speaking of, the charmingly vile goopy effects of the first are of course replaced with plenty of computer generated mutations that are convincing in places, but manage to completely unscare and oddly ungore what is sprouting out of the latest victim. The Thing is instead turned into more of a rampaging beast than the original, which takes away the unsettling slow regurgitating nature of John Carpenter's beast. You end up wondering why it bothers trying to imitate them at all and not just stampede through the place with its red danglys squirming proudly instead.

Failing to really get stuck into proceedings and instead opting to not offend fans by sticking closely to the original, The Thing evolves into yet another remake (John Carpenter's being a remake in itself) rather than a prequel. So while hardcore fans will scream out the blasphemous existence of this 'prequel', others may find a sometimes entertaining film that, while not as rip roaring as the original, still manages to pass the torch of the original onto another generation without destroying the memory of the first.

2/5

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Top 10 Soul-Crushing Films

Top 10 list created for Halloween...watch these films at the behest of your faith in humanity being forever quashed...

http://www.subtitledonline.com/special-features/top-10-soul-crushing-films-in-world-cinema

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The Skin I Live In Review

The Skin I Live In


Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

http://www.subtitledonline.com/reviews/the-skin-i-live-in

The Skin I Live In, Pedro Almodovar’s lat­est cin­e­matic tale, is his usual genre bend­ing and gen­der twist­ing affair that weaves through a nar­ra­tive of a some­times myth­i­cal, other times all too human, scope that pounds through its run­ning time like only a mae­stro film­maker could orches­trate.

With a plot that can be dis­sected into three con­cise parts, which ini­tially fail to offer much of a link other than the cen­tral char­ac­ter, but then ulti­mately and dis­turbingly clash into place, The Skin I Live In charts the unset­tling dynamic between Anto­nio Bandera’s Madrid based scientist/doctor and his mys­te­ri­ous patient, Vera (Elena Anaya). It becomes evi­dent that Robert Ledgard (Ban­deras) has been using Vera as a human spec­i­men to uncover the depths sci­ence can reach in the field of face trans­plants and skin graft­ing, and events reach a frenzy when the son of Ledgard’s maid (Marisa Pare­des) makes an unwel­come and over-due appear­ance.
As the hulk­ing brute of a man intim­i­dates his way into the lav­ish home of Ledgard, which also houses his lab­o­ra­tory and Vera’s room/prison, rev­e­la­tions are unleashed as a con­se­quence of a har­row­ing sequence of vio­lence. This then leads us into an Almod­ovar sta­ple, a lengthy flash­back to six years prior which grad­u­ally unfolds the his­tory of Ledgard and Vera, even­tu­ally lead­ing back to the present day cat­a­stro­phe that becomes their rela­tion­ship…

Almod­ovar shows us once again that he is a mas­ter­ful sto­ry­teller, the nar­ra­tive tick­ing along immac­u­lately and fail­ing to bore for one sec­ond, as ele­ments of the plot slowly but beau­ti­fully unwind at a pre­cise pace. It allows room for the viewer to piece plot threads together, but still gives room for the shock of the final out­come, when it finally reveals itself. He imbues the film with a fan­tas­ti­cal ele­ment, in parts liken­ing the film to fairy­tale imagery. When the Zeca, the maid’s son, barges in and man­ages to tear at their dys­func­tional fam­ily unit of doc­tor, patient and maid, he is dressed as a tiger (hav­ing come straight from a car­ni­val) and trans­forms into the fero­cious beast rip­ping his way through the idyl­lic home and becom­ing the evil cat­a­lyst for what will soon develop.

Fur­ther con­no­ta­tions can be pulled from gothic lit­er­a­ture, with The Skin I Live In dis­play­ing obvi­ous par­al­lels with Mary Shelley’s Franken­stein, evolv­ing the film into a mod­ern day telling of the exper­i­men­tal crea­ture and his/her bat­tle with iden­tity and the need to have his/her love rec­i­p­ro­cated. In true Almod­ovar style then, The Skin I Live In becomes a story that toys with the bar­ri­ers of sex­u­al­ity and iden­tity, the issue of gen­der becom­ing the ulti­mate back­bone of the film dur­ing the final act.

Com­plet­ing the film is Almodovar’s usual grace­ful con­trol of the mise-en-scene, skewed angles, blaz­ing fires, cor­ri­dors back dropped with beau­ti­ful yet fore­telling colour­ful paint­ings. The room in which Vera resides is an art­work within itself, the walls scrawled with dates, times, mus­ing and draw­ings. Naked female forms etched onto the plain walls bare their gen­i­talia as they lack faces and instead have small houses placed on their necks instead of heads, an intri­cate detail that show­cases Vera’s inter­nal con­flict; a home­less indi­vid­ual whose main solace is a bro­ken mind. The music accom­pa­ni­ment is of impor­tance also; at times, reach­ing Hitch­cock­ian lev­els, as strings unset­tlingly wire through the score, the music coaxed in dur­ing moments when it is absolutely nec­es­sary and work­ing as part of the film, rather than sim­ply tacked on because it has to be.

While you could com­plain that it may not be a change of pace for Almod­ovar, as it fits into his usual for­mat of film­mak­ing and dances with the same themes that are found in his past efforts, The Skin I Live In is still a majes­tic film. At times, it becomes one of his most genre pieces, as it tus­sles with themes the genre of hor­ror is famous for, such as man’s for­age into the depths of what he can manip­u­late the human body into, but he always grounds it with a level of real­ism that skews it to the realms of a drama/thriller. Each char­ac­ter has a dif­fer­ent moral com­pass, and when you think you have found the vil­lain of the piece, fur­ther plot devel­op­ments cause judge­ments to be altered. Due to this, when the con­clu­sion arrives, it is bit­ter­sweet — you can sym­pa­thise with each char­ac­ter but also demor­alise then, mak­ing for a frus­trat­ing yet hyp­notic cli­max.

This sense of bewil­der­ment must also be attrib­uted to the cast, Ban­deras’ and Anaya’s efforts are as effec­tive as the script in cre­at­ing char­ac­ters who dove­tail through a sea of ambi­gu­ity — in the wrong hands, this would have come across as unbe­liev­able and far­ci­cal. Elena Anaya stands out espe­cially, saun­ter­ing through moments of tragedy and mis­trust, her eyes the mag­netic tether between the audi­ence and her char­ac­ter — a stand out scene being a flash­back to her wear­ing a black skin tight suit and a plas­tic mate­r­ial face mask, the only vis­i­ble fea­ture being her eyes as they mani­a­cally stare out as she attempts an escape.

As a film that skips between gen­res and isn’t afraid to lash out a bit of crim­son gore when needed, The Skin I Live In is not nec­es­sar­ily going to be a film that suits everybody’s tastes. It has a few graphic scenes that shock and plot points that shock even more, but any estab­lished fan of Almod­ovar is going to come away pleased, as will film fans who enjoy to be pulled along on an intel­li­gent and some­times mad­den­ing ride.

5/5

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Chain Letter Review

Chain Letter

Reviewed by James Cheetham

jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

Keeping up with the modern trend of social media, something that seems to have rapidly afflicted our society and become an obsession, horror films of recent years have quickly begun to encompass these mediums of communication to create new methods of terror. Chain Letter is one of the latest editions employing this stance on horror, attempting to expand upon the simple formula of a hack’n’slash film to incorporate the device of an internet chain letter which works as effectively as scrawling a big red X on each one of the victims foreheads.

Taking a page out of The Ring’s rulebook, a film that can be seen to be one of the most influential horrors of recent years, Chain Letter abides by similar conventions, with the only escape from a painful, gruesome death being the passing on of this chain letter via email. It is an interesting idea that, with a bit more effort put in, could have resulted in an intriguing film, the premise of signing away a friend’s life by clicking the mundane ‘send email’ button to save your own skin playing into darker themes of guilt and sacrifice for personal gain. Unfortunately, Chain Letter doesn’t make too much of an effort to explore this side of things, and decides to focus more upon the killer, a hugely scarred man who has a fetish for metal chains.

This means the premise of the film, the chain letter, is put on the back burner and instead the camera focuses in upon this monster who, for no reason explained, decides to slay a handful of high school teens. Unlike successful villains of classic horrors, such as Freddy Krueger and Hannibal Lecter who inspire a real sense of villainy due to their lack of motivation, the villain of Chain Letter is lacking in any kind of depth to give this absence of reasoning to his chain letter killings any sinister sway. Eventually he turns into more of a comical figure as you see this hulking mass of a serial killer perched over a computer screen looking on facebook, evolving Chain Letter into a parody, unwittingly poking fun at the idea of films that merge together elements of horror with social media platforms.

Being a horror film that takes more delight in the gory death sequences rather than focusing upon the interesting aspects of its initial premise, Chain Letter becomes just another entry in the teen horror catalogue, setting up a stereotypical cast of high schoolers, and then picking them off one by one with gruesome aplomb. The directing doesn’t bring anything particularly original to the table, with the opening scene being the most memorable which sets up a particularly gory sequence that any one of the various Saw sequels would be proud of. But the promise this opener gives is dashed as Chain Letter becomes bogged down with the building mountain of amputated teen limbs.

What starts off as an exciting idea with a brutal opener, Chain Letter quickly devolves into a murder by numbers horror that is neither original nor interesting, a fact made more frustrating as the narrative device of the chain letters could have allowed room for a wealth of twisted themes and characters.

2/5

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Fertile Ground DVD Review

Fertile Ground

Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

The haunted house is a popular trope in the world of horror, warping the friendly nature of the family dwelling into a place of uncanny supernatural energy where theoretically, the home no longer becomes a home. Playing into this successfully exploited phenomenon is Adam Gierasch’s Fertile Ground, most recently seen this year at the After Dark Original Horrorfest Weekend.

The plot follows the plight of the Weavers, a married couple from the city who, after suffering a tragic miscarriage and the resulting infertility of the wife, move to a country farmhouse to set up a new life for themselves. Of course, any house that is secluded to such a degree and has a strange resemblance to a certain Bates Motel, will clearly be rife with a ghost or two, and once moved in the inevitable strange goings-on commence. As Nate Weaver becomes caught up in his artistic career, his wife Emily finds herself laden with the usual ghostly horror movie fare; skeletons, crying children, ghostly apparitions and mysterious human hand prints.

While the haunted house aspects of the narrative are old hat, the interesting elements of the plot revolve around Emily and her failed pregnancy. After being diagnosed infertile, it comes as a shock when she finds herself pregnant again once they have moved onto the new land. It is here that the interesting components of the story weave their way in to offer a new angle on the sub-genre. Instead of the threat of the film being limited to the haunted house, another danger is found with the mysterious pregnancy, the haunting and the pregnancy having odd parallels. Each entity, the house and Emily’s womb, are caught up in a cycle and just as the idea of one’s home becoming uncontrollable and sinister, the same idea can be placed upon Emily’s anatomy, the two becoming intertwining paradoxes with Emily Weaver caught in a frantic limbo between the two.

Unsurprisingly, this does not have a particularly positive effect on the poor woman, and as events spiral out of her control and her husband grows distant from her and their situation, the film concludes in a rather abrupt finale which takes an entertainingly skewed stance on what could have been just another boring conclusion of dominant possessed husband attacks unstable housewife.

While the plot gives the film a positive backbone, a few additions to Gierasch’s horror let it down somewhat. While they may be cosmetic elements, the costume design and the soundtrack do come across as amateurish which could simply be a result of the low budget nature of the film. One component that could have been avoided however is the odd inclusion of title cards which break up the film and unfortunately only add to the sometimes amateurish nature.

Blending influences from classics such as The Shining, Rosemary’s Baby and The Amityville Horror, Fertile Ground does still manage to hold its own. This is mainly due to the added pregnancy plot that manages to build upon the idea of creating an unsettling atmosphere by making not just the house, but also one’s own body, a place of eerie distrust.

3/5

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The Hangover 2 Review

The Hangover 2

Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com


Like any summer sequel, The Hangover 2 attempts to abide by the three rules of reaping high box office figures; bigger, better and flashier, and it manages to achieve all but the most vital. Unfortunately it is far from better.

Rather than making any effort to rejuvenate the narrative beats of the last film, The Hangover 2 simply devolves into the first film but set in Bangkok. The tiger is replaced with a drug running monkey and the baby is swapped for Mr Chow, Chow being the only plot device that manages to bring in some semblance of hilarity.

Instead of coming across as the light-hearted disaster-com of the first film, The Hangover 2 almost seems to try to approach the genre of dark comedy, minus the comedy. The hung-over patriots are now slugged through a ream of horrific situations involving one getting shot, the dismemberment of fingers and one drunkenly having sex with another man. Any moments that could have allowed for comedy are killed with unintelligent dialogue, one example being the scene that reveals to the horrified Stu that he had sex with a man, the humour being shot down mercilessly with distasteful writing; “I shoot my load into you and you shoot your load onto the floor.” Awkward silence. Any moments of enjoyable word play come from Mr Chow, “Hola! City of Squalor!” but these are few and far between.

Rather than develop what will no doubt become a sequel laden franchise into an unexpected comedy romp, The Hangover 2 makes no effort to switch things up and with it hitting the same beats as the last, the ridiculous surprises that made the first offering so enjoyable are now gone.

2/5

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Hereafter Review


Hereafter

Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

It’s always a good day in any film fan's week when a new Clint Eastwood film comes along, his most recent directorial effort being, Hereafter.

Unlike his previous endeavours, which focus upon political and emotional injustices and dramas, (i.e his other Matt Damon vehicle, Invictus) Hereafter is a different animal altogether, instead awkwardly attempting to juggle themes of the afterlife and psychic reverberations.

Charting three alternative narratives, and trying to merge the trio together, we are treated to one plot involving Damon and his unfocused and burdened psychic ability, a young boy who’s grieving the loss of his twin brother in London, and Cecile de France who narrowly escaped death due to a tragic tsunami.

These three plots are loosely connected, each one shuffling along at a fairly slow rate, and when they do finally conjoin it is so late in the game that there is no satisfying pay off.

Unfortunately, this means Hereafter bumbles along at a badly structured and uninteresting pace, the only memorable moment being the CGI laden tsunami sequence which acts as the exciting and promising opener of the film, the only other draw of the rest of the run-time being Damon's portrayal of a damaged psychic, doing his best with a fairly shoddy and somewhat embarrassing script. ("It's not a blessing...it's a curse!" *audience rolls eyes*)

Instead of exploring the mysterious depths of the myths of the afterlife, Hereafter comes across just as bland as its depictions of the ghost's limbo dimension; boring and lifeless.

We shall allow you this one bump in the road Clint, but please don't plan on making another...

2/5

Hereafter is released on DVD 13th June

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Horror; Let Me In & Wakewood Reviews 2/5/11.

Let Me In


Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

It’s hard to review a remake of an already brilliant and recent film. It means the original is still relatively fresh in your mind with its first viewing and in most cases the remake will pale in comparison. Let Me In is a perfect example of this.

Unlike many remakes, Let Me In is not a bad film, far from it. But its existence is fairly pointless (much like other recent remakes such as Quarantine, the unneeded remake of Rec), with characters and themes all being tackled in the same way as the original and not really attempting anything radically different. The only two differences that crop up are the obvious language differences and the acting.

Let Me In lacks the atmosphere of the original with the melodrama being more evident in the remake and over fraught, something that eats away at the mysteriously sinister nature of the characters/relationships. The lead actors are not bad in any sense, but appear average when compared with the otherworldliness of the leads from Let The Right One In. They simply do not have the same chemistry or depth.

If viewed alone, Let Me In would have been a great film, but with the Swedish version having beaten the Hollywood edition to the punch, this film comes across as lacking and merely rolls along, always slightly missing out on the magic of Let The Right One In.

3/5


WakeWood

Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

Hammer horror, in an attempt to break back into the world of modern terror and pushing aside the torture-porn and remake purgatory of Hollywood is back, lambasting us with its usual fare of British eeriness.

Pulling strings from classics such as The Wicker Man and Don’t Look Now, Wakewood toils with a married couple who recently lost their daughter and move to the British countryside village of Wakewood.

As events progress and the mystical underbelly of Wakewood is revealed, our appetite for the sinister is fed and things evolve to involve sacrificial rituals, resurrection, creepy villages and plenty of bloody murder.

Whether director David Keating has made the effort to direct Wakewood to give it a slight hammer horror amateurish atmosphere, or simply lacks the talent is not 100% clear as the direction is sometimes uneven and doesn’t manage to achieve a balanced style throughout. However, the use of abrupt zoom-ins add to the classic horror feel and the plot weaves along in similar clichéd aplomb.

Wakewood makes for a vaguely entertaining yarn, but the lack of originality is hard to overlook even with the rather entertaining finale.

2/5





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Somewhere Review

Somewhere

Reviewed by James Cheetham

Jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

As an avid fan of Lost in Translation, I knew I was going to love this film. And while I can’t quite decide whether Somewhere topped it, I know that I definitely developed a deep fascination with it.

Sofia Coppola’s latest is rife in a quiet brilliant beauty that instils every single frame with a certain elegance. Whether this is an elegance of innocence, hope, self-destruction or sleaze, it spills from the screens as the camera slowly crawls through the life of fictional A-list celebrity Johnny Marco (Stephen Dorff) and his 11 year-old visiting daughter (Elle Fanning).

The two central performances are tone perfect. Dorff creates a living crack that allows you to peak into the downside of a hedonistic-led life, and Elle Fanning juxtaposes his performance with a shy confidence that hides a pre-pubescent tirade of emotions and hormones soon to come.

Coppola sticks to what she knows and doesn’t try to develop a different style just for the sake of it. Somewhere has the same meandering essence that Lost in Translation was soaked in, but it works for the development of the characters and the slow moving plot, resulting in a strong sense of alignment between the characters and the viewer . This is put to good use within the moments of drama, and while not frequent, when they happen they become wonderfully intimate and hypnotic moments that showcase the talents of Coppola.

If you like your films slow-moving yet immensely satisfying, Somewhere is a must-see. An accomplished piece of cinema that calls for further viewings and satiates a hunger within cinephiles such as myself who will find themselves calling for further Sofia Coppola films to be brought into creation.

5/5

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The Adjustment Bureau Review

The Adjustment Bureau Review


Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

To be perfectly honest, I’ve had enough of Matt Damon and his damn running. The Bourne films were awesome, mainly because he interspersed his running with the odd face jab or kick, but it seems to becoming more prevalent that Damon is basing his roles on the amounting of running within the script.

His most recent role finds him chasing a lost love, a girl he should have ended up with, but due to various fantastical reasons, his destiny with her was dodged, changed, and warped, (so he’d become the president of the United States. Obviously.)

With this relationship as the foundation of the narrative, The Adjustment Bureau becomes a romance film wrapped loosely within the trimmings of scifi/fantasy. Fantasy you ask? Yes, because the main plot device of the film is the use of angel-like creatures. They are men in suits who mince around in bowler hats with little notepads that reveal the life maps of people, life maps that they must ensure are followed.

These bowler-hat men meddle in the everyday lives of humans to make sure we all reach our ultimate goals and generally just walk around using free will to wipe their ass. Why? Because last time they let us live by free will we invented genocide. Go us.

So they are involving themselves in our mess to make sure the human species eventually climbs towards its finale.

Matt Damon’s character sidesteps his controlled fate when he meets a ballerina played by the marvellous Emily Blunt. The chemistry between the two is brilliant and makes his constant pursuit of her believable. But with his fawning after her meaning he is not reaching his written destiny the angels become involved, attempting to break the two up. The excitement of the film doesn't really kick in until the end when there is a chase scene and a whole lot of jargon is spilled out into the film, which ultimately just leads to Damon running around a lot. Again. And after all the running? A boring deux ex machina that will have most eyes rolling in annoyance.

So prior to the final triathlon, The Adjustment Bureau is simply rather a lot of romantic yearning and composition driven dialogue via suited men. Overall? Not nearly entertaining enough and it falls into the frequent trap of; seen the trailer? seen the film.

2/5

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Update; 26/4/11.

With a schedule of full-time work and busy weekends, my attention to my writing has dropped significantly. So in a bid to motivate myself back into writing, I've decided to try and keep up a steady flow of film reviews by shortening them and making them snappier.


I'm also not limiting myself to just reviews for other websites and will be writing short reviews of films I catch through-out the week and posting them on here. Again, they won't be the 700 + wordy reviews I usually do, simply because I do not have the time to manage that these days.

So hopefully the shorter reviews won't be a complete literary wreck and may also be easier for readers who just want to scan over a film review rather than read a 1000 + word review...(black swan review. *cough* *cough*)

Cheers guys!

-James

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You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger Review


written for www.devildeeds.com

Reviewed by James Cheetham
jamescheetham.jcc@gmail.com

Being a Woody Allen film about love, life and relationships, You Will Meet A Tall Dark Strangerbegins just as you'd expect; with the black and white opening title credits, the jaunty music, and the inevitable narrator. After dire offerings such asCassandra's Dream, it is an opening that will put you in the mindset that this is Allen back to doing what he does best. Despite the fact that you may have an inclination of how the narrative will unfurl and the type of dilemmas the characters will encounter, you can't help but find yourself with that content smile plastered across your face in anticipation for the following Woody Allen frivolities.

Like past successes such as Hannah and Her Sisters and Vicky Christina Barcelona, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, handpicks a few characters, highlights their love life and zooms in on the day to day catastrophes that unwind amongst family members, careers and everyday home life.

Firstly we have the married couple of Alfie (Anthony Hopkins) and Helena (Gemma Jones), whose marriage is breaking down due to Alfie's mid-life crisis and his need to return to his younger fitter days. Their daughter, Sally (Naomi Watts), is also having marital issues with her hubby, Roy (Josh Brolin), a struggling writer who is putting off the idea of having kids and instead finds himself transfixed with the beauty in the red dress, Dia (Freida Pinto), who resides in the opposite building block.

As the narrative continues, further spanners in the works are introduced, mainly in the form of Sally's seductive art gallery boss, Greg (Antonia Banderas) and Alfie's new and much younger fiancé, Charmaine (Lucy Punch).

As the characters bump into each other and interact, the relationships twist and turn into an inevitable conclusion of disaster but Allen imbues this with his token dark humour that makes you laugh and cringe. You feel sympathy for the characters as things fall apart, but in equal measure feel as if they deserve all the mess they find themselves in due to their rather selfish wishes. We all want that perfect lifestyle of career and lover, and the reality is that not everyone will achieve that dream job while continuing a passionate and committed relationship.

The acting is passable, nothing particularly stand-out, other than the hilariously over-the-top performance from Lucy Punch, who drains as much comedy-gold chavness from Charmaine as possible. Naomi Watts is far from bad, but she does suffer from the problem of the occasional wooden line-delivery due to her faux British accent, an affliction seen with other actresses such as Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta.

Being no exception from many other Woody Allen films, ...Dark Stranger makes the setting of the film as much of the character as the people. Returning to the city of London after exploring it in other films such as Match Point, we are given a rather warm looking England with hues of orange, a colour sometimes out of place from the usual greys used to depict the city. But while ...Dark Stranger is less of a love-note to the city as seen in his love for New York in Manhattan or Annie Hall, it is nice to see London presented as a vibrant place, unlike the boiling pot of crime and hoodlums as it is usually seen as.

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger concludes in the usual Woody Allen open-ended nature. Nothing is truly solved and the only character who is left somewhat content is that of Sally's mother Helena, the woman who gives the film its title in the first place due to her frequent visits to a psychic. Helena may be the furthest from a real sense of reality as she embroils herself in the worlds of fortune-telling and mysticism, but she ends up the happiest.

So maybe that's the moral of Woody Allen's tale; don't bog yourself down with the inevitable acceptance of reality and instead find a level of contentment in your own ridiculous illusions.

3/5

http://www.devilsdeeds.com/filmsreviewcomment.html

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Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D Review


Written for www.onthebox.com



Reviewed by James Cheetham

The Bieber epidemic that seems to have gripped the world as effectually as a medieval plague is everywhere, so it was inevitable that our mainstream cinema screens would not be spared their own bout of tween fever. Bombarding our screens in 3D, we can all join together and squeal in (attempts at) pre-pubescent joy as a larger-than-life version of Bieber looks out of the screen and points at us mid-song. It’s like being on stage with him! Joy! (*scoff*)

Putting that sarcastic scoff aside, the truth of the matter is that Never Say Never is not quite as laughable as the various naysayers will have expected it to be, and as the likelihood of cynics going within five miles of a screening are remarkably low, it should delight the screaming girl-children that flock to see it. However, any biopic of someone aged 16 is of course ridiculous and clearly serves only on£ purpo$e. But while this concert movie-slash-documentary goes some way towards explaining the phenomenon of Bieber Fever, we get nowhere nearer to understanding Bieber the boy.

The concert parts of the film will be as intoxicating for a Bieber fan as heroin was to Renton. They are slathered on to the big screen in sumptuous 3D and colour, displaying various performances with many special guest stars. The equally-nauseating Miley Cyrus makes an appearance, as does Usher in all his pop-locking glory and we are also treated to the croonings of Boyz II Men and Sean Kingston. The other parts are an amalgamation of home videos, YouTube clips and back-stage shenanigans.

One strange point that has to be made about NSN is that despite the fact that this is a film revolving around the life of Justin Bieber, not once do we actually have any sort of interview with the singer or the chance to delve into how he feels about the furore that surrounds him. It is a master class in how to promote while also protect a celebrity product; the audience watches 105 minutes of this film and feel as if they have somehow got to know the star, in reality we get nowhere near the personality of the lad. Instead we have countless interviews with the people that surround him; his mum, (who gives eye-rolling moments of pure Americana cheese), his grandparents and the touring management that all form the ‘functioning dysfunctional’ Bieber family.

One of the members of this awful crowd is the stylist; if the Oscars suddenly decided to add in ‘The Biggest Douche Bag’ category to their annual shindig, then he would be rightly stood at the podium accepting the award in a few weeks time. He seems to froth through a tirade of hideous yelps and impressions in some strange attempt to be ‘down’ with the Bieber and therefore the kids, and the worst thing is that Bieber seems to love the man. If that was me I’d be using my star power to invest in some cyanide.

2/5

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www.onthebox.com

http://channelhopping.onthebox.com/author/james-cheetham/

A collection of my articles/reviews/news stories for onthebox.com.

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127 Hours Review





You know you've got a tough job ahead of you when the main nemesis in your film's plot is a piece of rock. So credit is massively due to director/writer Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire/ Trainspotting), and actor James Franco (Pineapple Express/Spiderman). Both manage to concoct an intriguing and dramatic film behind and in front of the camera; based on the book by Aron Ralston, it revolves around his real life experience of becoming trapped in a canyon in the expansive mountainous plains of Utah.

127 Hours is an interesting film to witness, with the majority of the running time dedicated to James Franco's portrayal of self-proclaimed adrenaline junkie Aron Ralston and his time within the secluded and isolated world of the canyon prison. Although the narrative hits all the regular beats of appreciating family, making the most of your love life and never taking anything for granted, it approaches the themes in an entertainingly fun and unique way, giving us surrealistic flashbacks through Aron's life as dehydration sets in and hallucinations begin to border in on his psyche. In this sense you could argue that the film does not take place solely in this canyon but in the mind of Aron as he accepts the fact that death is imminent and his imagination begins to take over. Even Scooby-Doo makes a guest appearance.

As most of you will know, Ralston escapes eventually, at the tether of his sanity, his liberator being a cheap pen knife. This escape occurs during a sudden moment that pricks the screen violently; Ralston stabbing his arm after applying a tourniquet and continuing his self-mutilation by cracking the bones and finally hacking his forearm off (the limb that has caught him between the rock and the canyon wall). Aron stumbles out into the sunlight from his vacation in his personal hell, with the crack in the world that swallowed him up finally defeated. It is a triumphant moment that could have mistakenly been depicted as something miserably gloomy, with the protagonist having just chopped his own arm off. Instead it is just this, triumphant and liberating, Boyle not focusing upon the hideous nature of what is occurring. However, the process of the amputation is terrifically squeamish, the pain and the sound effects almost jittering the pain of his situation through into the audience's teeth as nerves are hit and blood is split.

James Franco took on a huge responsibility when taking on this role and he gives a knock out performance. If it wasn't for Colin Firth's outstanding performance in The King's Speech, Franco would be a high contender for Best Actor during this year's award season. He dives between moments of humour and scenes of tragedy, the tipping of a few drops of water turning into moments of teary horror. Franco's Ralston comes across in equal measures of annoying selfishness and loveable yet tragic hero. If it wasn't for his ego and obsession with becoming 'Aron Ralston, Hard Hero Man', he would have informed a relative of his whereabouts. Instead he has opted for the mirage of untethered adventurer, ignoring family and friends and going about things his way. It is a tough personality to depict whilst trying to keep the audience rooting for Ralston, and Franco balances his performance perfectly.

Like all of his past efforts, Boyle's film is further improved by a tremendous soundtrack, teaming up with Slumdog Millionaire's composer A.R.Rahman once again and offering us pounding music to accompany the opening scenes of the film and Aron's pursuit of adventure. Boyle's camera work is quirky and fun also, littering the film with split screen effects and surreal hallucinations of blurriness.

The films only quibble would be near the end of Ralston's time in the canyon and the sometimes rather cheesy scenes involving his family all collected together around a sofa watching him as a heavenly light washes them in a glow. Franco's earlier shadowed speeches into his video camera saying thank you and sorry to his family are far more moving and desperate than the hallucinations, and their work is somewhat undone when the helpless gloomy atmosphere the film has acquired is disrupted by these over the top images.

127 Hours, sometimes beautiful, other times harrowing, is a wonderfully unique film showcasing brilliant filmmaking and a stand out performance, completely justifying its position within this award seasons' handful of films.

4/5

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Black Swan Review



Reviewed by James Cheetham

So it would seem the film world is all in a flapper after the Golden Globes. He won this, she won that, this film won whatsit. However, one of the biggest talks of tinsel town this month has been the, homely-girl-next-door actress, Natalie Portman. She has managed to sweep up a whirlwind of pre award season chatter with her performance in Darren Aronofsky's latest film, Black Swan, critics and fans goading her on for Best Actress, which she indeed won at the Golden Globes, and rightly so.

It is odd to use the following phrase in conjunction with Portman, an already established actress, but watching this film is like watching an actress being born, or in this case, reborn. Black Swan is a masterstroke of cinema, a blot of brilliance on the landscape of Hollywood that many a film snob like to make snide comments upon; Hollywood, an industry affected by sequel-titus and afflicted with reboots and remakes. And then Darren Aronofsky comes along, and presents us with this film. And what a film.

The reason for the usage of the earlier description of 'homely-girl-next-door', was to show the real transformation Portman bestows upon herself in her role as Nina Sayers, high rising ballet dancer who has dreams of being cast as the Swan Queen in the latest reimagining of the infamous ballet, Swan Lake. She begins as a porcelain gentle and fragile girl with an over bearing mother figure, their relationship showing parallels to the destructive mother-daughter relationship of Brian De Palma's also brilliant, Carrie.

Nina comes across as an isolated figure, regularly sat by herself in the backstage corridors of the dance halls, girls giving her snide comments and malicious giggles. But although fragile, there is a hard rigid mask to her that encases the character of Nina within her own secular world. From the outset the character is one of paradoxes, hard and private yet apologetic and sympathetic. When she manages to reach her dream and is cast as the Swan Queen, this inner character of inconsistencies begins to come untethered as multiple dominant figures impinge on her sanity. Nina is torn in different directions that only allow for further dots of insanity to weasel their way into this private and enclosed world she strives to live in.

But fill a bowl with too much water and it will eventually overspill, and this is just what happens, Portman spectacularly delving into the over spilling psyche of a damaged girl who cannot cope with the controlling figures leering over her. As stated, Natalie Portman becomes a whole new actress, a powerhouse of acting talent with the watchful eyes of Aronofsky directing her to perfection. As the transformation from white swan to black afflicts Portman's character, we are instead presented with an altogether different swan; a grey swan, a swan of madness and disaster, a swan who is attacked by horrific hallucinations that terrorise Portman and her audience in equal measure.

Nina dips in-between the different coloured worlds and their rules, finding sexual adventure in the world of the black swan, brought about through Vincent Cassel's Swan Lake director, and Mila Kunis' seductive fellow ballet dancer. And as she falls further down the rabbit hole, we find her constantly trying to climb back out, back to the sensibilities of the white swan and her formulaic box shaped world that she inhabited prior to her Swan Queen casting.

Aronofsky brings his touches of genius to the film-making, elevating what would have already been a fascinating film into a classic piece of cinema. His camera drops us suddenly and abruptly into his claustrophobic narrative world from the outset, the camera always in close, trapping the audience within Nina's self-created world and keeping us in touch with a character who is so out of touch. It creates a rollercoaster ride for the audience and makes for an incredibly intense film as the moments of surreal hallucinations tear holes in what would have been a consistent narrative.

But rather wonderfully this inconsistent narration brings about ripples of uncertainty as we are sucked into a dimension of doppelgangers and untrusted shadowed reflections. It is hard to find a single scene in the film where there is not a mirror, presenting us with as many different versions of Nina as she seems to have of herself in her head. And yet again praise upon Portman for giving us this believable portrayal of so many characters wrapped up within a single entity. The final complete transformation into the black swan is an incredible moment to behold.

Of course further praise goes to Aronofsky for his pitch perfect direction of Portman and his control of the camera. The initial opening dream sequence has the camera wrap in amongst the tittering feet of Portman, his hand held shots strangely not tearing away the glamour of ballet but improving it. With his sweeping and up-close camera, something that could have torn down the veils of the magic of ballet manoeuvres but instead escalates it into even more of a poetic art form. These scenes are then juxtaposed against the realistic back stage breaks and tears of the performer's feet and the strain these athletic bodies are put under once the magnetism of the dancing has faded.

Black Swan is every bit a Darren Aronofsky film as his past endeavours. As he has stated, it is a follow up to his previous film The Wrestler and Black Swan does indeed play out like his sequel, both films delving into similar themes. The pocket-marked and scarred hulking form of Mickey Rourke is now replaced with the delicately torn and coming apart at the seams figure of Portman's ballet dancer, Rourke's damaged heart replaced with Portman's damaged mind. But then it could be stated that the dark moments of the film that look into the recesses of a person's mental state as they fall apart under the pressures of their God given talent, has more in connection with what Aronofsky presented us with in his debut feature film, Pi.

It is easy to sit here all day and glorify Black Swan but it is a film that simply has to be witnessed to be believed. At times disturbingly scary and others emotionally intense, it is a masterpiece that is brought about through superb performances and incredible direction that will suck you into the unstable world that the film sets out to create.

By the time the credits are rolling you'll find yourself stuck within the landscape of Nina's broken mind, victim to the same limbo she has been afflicted by, with the lasting effects of Darren Aronofsky's intrusive film washing over you. In short, Black Swan is a massive film that deserves a massive audience.

5/5



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The King's Speech Review


Written for www.devilsdeeds.com



Reviewed by James Cheetham

We find ourselves at that point in time again, where everything else occurring seems unimportant and the world begins to spin backwards, propelled by the constant blabbering mouths and typing fingers as the debating and discussing of the awards season commences. Hello Golden Globes, Hello Baftas, Hello Oscars. Yes, it is that time again.

As one of the big contenders for a plethora of awards this season, The King’s Speech has had a lot of buzz and talk circulating around it. But this can sometimes hinder a film, its expectations raised sky high and then dropping when the audience finally clambers into their cinema seat and realises it was all hot air. Thankfully, The King’s Speech is not one of these, not in the slightest. And let me raise those expectations even higher for you, because it is an utterly brilliant, moving and oddly intense piece of cinema that inspires, enthrals and most importantly, makes you proud to be British.

Charting the rise of King George VI and his constant battle with his stammer, The King’s Speech on paper sounds like an odd film that could, in the wrong hands, come across as somewhat dull. In Tom Hooper’s skilful hands and with Colin Firth at the helm of the role as King George VI, it becomes wonderfully intriguing and captures your attention immediately.

The main draw of the film is the unlikely friendship that gradually forms between King George VI and his speech therapist, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). It is a slow moving friendship that is sometimes hampered by the sudden angry outbursts of King George, or Bertie as he is referred to by family and Logue, his patience worn thin through a life time of being unheard. But it is a beautifully depicted friendship that weaves throughout the film gracefully, the world of Logue, an everyday out spoken ‘commoner’ forcefully meshing with the ravishingly wealthy yet uptight world of the Royals.

The film not only gives us insight into the true story of this friendship but also the family dramas of the Royal family. We find Bertie’s older brother David inheriting the throne yet dismissing his duty for his love of a (shock horror) twice-divorced American, causing scandal amongst the Royal family. With World War II approaching and an almost medieval family feud erupting, Bertie eventually finds himself ascending to the throne, with the daunting duty of fulfilling a wartime speech to Britain looming ahead. Ultimately, the climax of the film comes down to Bertie’s delivery of his speech, a speech that will hold him up as the symbol of British pride, a speech that must gather the strands of his country together and put up a verbal front against Nazi Germany. For the brief minutes of his speech, he must become Britain. No pressure then…

It is shocking how incredibly intense this climax becomes, with various close-ups of Firth’s perpetually struggling face as he fights his way through the English language, dicing up the footage as it cuts between different groups of the British public. It is a technique used throughout the film to great effect; Firth’s shirts are always buttoned up as high as possible, contorting his entire body and character into this expression of red faced and clucking frustration, pulling the audience into the world of sympathising bystander, unable to help. He does a brilliant job of realistically portraying this rather violent stammer, not once falling into a parody and always shifting skins like a snake between roles of family man and reluctant ruler, wrapped within boyhood phobias imparted to him through the sins of his father. In short, he is a human being, abundant in contradictions and mistakes while also having to stand as the figurehead of a nation. All I can say is look up Oscar winner in the Dictionary; you’ll see a picture of Colin Firth right there. His performance is simply fantastic.

The supporting cast is perfect, with Helena Bonham Carter jostling through her role as the late Queen Mother in her prime; in a hilarious montage of speech training techniques, she sits on her husband’s chest as he breathes in and out - and is clearly having fun. Believe it or not, the Royals can actually have fun. Geoffrey Rush is entertaining also, storming through his role as out spoken colonial Australian who refuses to give into the initial ‘mightier than thou’ attitude of King George VI.

David Seidler’s script patiently allows each character to breathe, with Tom Hooper’s camera drawing all the attention to the characters while simultaneously licking up every gorgeous detail within each environment. Logue’s brown toned work space is pitted against the dripping luxury of Buckingham Palace, the production design of each location speaking volumes, with the golds of the Palace almost swallowing Firth up in their dominant splendour, while Logue’s paper stripped yet uniquely coloured walls give him room to breathe and control the space.

The King’s Speech has quietly crept into the world’s subconscious, a tale singing inspirational triumph while also championing friendships that can be found in the oddest of places. It is a remarkable piece of cinema that neither bores nor underwhelms and keeps an emotional attachment throughout, certain scenes involving Firth’s realisation of his duty lasting mere minutes but managing to evolve into powerhouse moments of emotion.

More British than dipping one of the Queen’s corgis into a vat of marmite and sending it off down the Thames on a union jack, The King’s Speech is the film to be championing this year as the award season beckons, the British takeover of the Oscars 2011 is imminent.

5/5

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The Next Three Days Review


Written for www.suite101.com




Reviewed by James Cheetham

A blend of drama, action and thriller, The Next Three Days - while pushing the boundaries of realism - is an entertaining heart pounding prison break romp.

Everyone has bad days. You might miss the train to work, get splashed by a passing car, and then finally return home to find your oven broken and the central heating down. While you wallow in self-pity on the sofa, try watching The Next Three Days and you’ll realize things could be worse. You could in fact be locked in prison serving life for a crime you didn’t commit with no chance of a successful appeal to prove your innocence. How's that for perspective?

Crash director Paul Haggis’ latest film, The Next Three Days, centres around such a dilemma. Russell Crowe plays John Brennan, a man who must deal with the fact that his wife, Lara Brennan, (Elizabeth Banks) has abruptly been imprisoned for murdering her boss. Not even considering the fact that she could be guilty, he fights her corner, and when any chance of an appeal fails, he takes drastic action against the officials who have snatched his life away and ruined his son’s childhood. He is going to break her free from Pittsburgh prison - one of the biggest urban prisons in America.

First things first, this is a remake of a French film, Anything For Her. While we could focus upon this fact, gripe and moan about the state of Hollywood and its evolution into a remaking and rebooting machine, instead, let’s not. Let’s simply judge this film on its own credentials

The initial opening scenes of the film are well crafted character introduction pieces. The Brennan family is established nicely with a kitchen scene involving amusing bickering and loving comments thrown in for good measure. However, as soon as we settle in with the Brennans, everything is violently torn apart. A patch of blood is discovered on Lara Brennan's coat and the situation suddenly escalates from a household moment of washing an unknown stain off a coat into a brutal police intervention.

Paul Haggis then begins to craft a wonderfully moving drama, Russell Crowe and Elizabeth Banks' finest moment in the film is the realization that the chance of an appeal has failed. Neither speaks a word but both flood with emotion, breaking down on either side of a prison partition glass at the prospect of her life sentence being just this; Life.

Once the realization that she will not be getting out of prison anytime soon hits, Brennan undertakes the ridiculous task of breaking her free. The tale then evolves from the moving family drama to that of the fable of David vs Goliath; the everyday man VS the police system. It is here where the credibility starts to fade and Brennan evolves into a gun toting criminal, breaking into medical vans, participating in drug den shoot outs and dumping bodies at bus stops.

It begins to undo the work of the first half of the film which established a strong connection between the audience and the character of Brennan. While he does not become a dislikeable man, we as an audience are detached from him abruptly as the film changes from a drama to an action thriller.

When the prison break announces itself and the action truly takes over, The Next Three Days, does become highly enjoyable, but for completely different reasons than the touching first half. The break out and subsequent chase scene to make the border in time is heart pounding stuff. There are many hiccups along the way that cast doubt over the attempt. It is exciting stuff, though it does drag itself out for quite some time.

While in essence, The Next Three Days, is an action thriller, it is at its best focusing upon the quiet moments, the emotional depiction of a family torn apart by a sequence of events caused by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Despite the bumpy transition from drama to thriller, the film is still enjoyable, laced with emotional moments of intensity, adrenaline inducing chases and some excellent character moments.

The Next Three Days is a perfect film for that Friday night as you sit there on your sofa with your pot noodle at hand. Just think, at least you aren't in prison.

3/5
http://www.suite101.com/content/the-next-three-days-review-a333338

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